Working Out Difficulty in CFC

COUPLES FOR CHRIST

CHRISTIAN PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
TALK No. 5: WORKING OUT DIFFICULTIES IN CFC

A.THE SCRIPTURAL STANDARD: PEACE
1.
Eph 4:1-3, 25-27, 29, 31-32

EPH 4 25-27

Eph 4 31-32

a)
Love and unity are important for our life in CFC.

Peace binds us together.
b)
Peace is a function of right relationships.
Relationships will be right if there is:
Humility, meekness, patience, tolerance
Dealing with difficulties quickly.
Proper speech.
No bitterness, anger, slander, malice.
Kind, compassionate, forgiving
c)
Peace is not just the absence of fighting, but refers to good and positive relationships,
which bring good for all involved.
2.
However, we are still not fully formed.
a)
We will occasionally fail in righteousness.
b)
We will still encounter difficulties, conflicts and misunderstandings.
3.
Our goal is peace.
a)
To enable us to experience the fullness of God’s life in and through CFC.
b)
To enable us to move as a united army that will carry out massive and rapid
evangelization. Luke 11:17.

B. SPEAKING THE TRUTH
1.
Eph 4:25b
a)
Not just avoiding lying, but to do something, to speak. We should not withhold the
truth from one another.
b) We should communicate openly about whatever is significant in our relationships.
2.
Confront difficulty that affects relationships negatively. Be reconciled.

a)
When we have a charge against others. Mt 18:15-17

b) When others have a charge against us. Mt 5:23-24.

c) In either case, we should take the initiative.
C.
WORKING OUT CONFLICTS
We need to distinguish if it is a matter of right or wrong (sin and righteousness), a matter
of better or worse, or simply a matter of personal preference

2. .Matters of right and wrong.
a) Ask forgiveness for your part.
b) Reprove your brother/sister for what he/she did wrong.

Do it in a straightforward way. Not apologetic or circuitous. Kindly and without animosity.
C)
Resolve it.
Normally by talking it through.
If you can’t resolve by yourselves, go to and get judgment from a leader/elder.
Restore the relationship.

3.
Matters that are clearly a question of better and worse (e.g., how one performs a particular service).
a) Speak to the person directly. Make the correction.
Do this authoritatively when you are in charge.
Give it as a suggestion if you are not in charge.
b) Be eager to learn and to improve. Agree to change
Don’t be defensive.
Realize that correction is not criticism but an expression of love.
c) There is no need for repentance for matters of better/worse (not wrongdoing).

4.
Matters that might be a question of better or worse, but are not clearly so. E.g., child rearing
practices; use of money.
a)
Arises from different opinions or expectations.
b) Resolve by coming to an agreement.
Establish common understanding where none existed before.
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